Touch me, Take me, Break me...
by Punker
Summary: A short Snape and Lupin romance. Slash m/m w/sexual themes. R&R please!


Touch me, Take me, Break me...

I can still feel you. 

Hot, and straining.

Small kisses on my neck. Making me weaker and weaker. I felt so drunk, I've never felt like that. Neither am I most honourable man, nor the most handsome. But you unleashed a passion inside me I never knew existed before. Oh Lupin....I want you...need you. I've been inside you and out again. I know what you are. Its amazing how I've used you. How you've used me... Our entire existences encompassed by just each other. Hahah... We were at best when we were together. Or so I thought... The one time I finally breached you...the one time I've truly felt happy. Happy because I was making you happy. At the one moment, you made me riteous. You say his name. Finally it came crashing down on me like all of England. You didn't care about me...no. You thought of me as him. What have you been thinking all along? How was this processing in your sick little mind? Did you think of his jet black tress when you ran your fingers through my long oily hair? 

And after all this repentant torture you bring me through. After reviving all my old demons that I had to fight so long ago. I can't seem to stop thinking of you. I can try, during the day. Usually, but. At the end of the day. When I can't seem to get to sleep. I lay, sweating in bed. Trying to wonder, what would it be like? If you had just said my name. You know I make up these happy little scenarios, to pass the time. In them...your mine. You belong to me. Everything I wish is true. And I wish...I wish you were still here. Why did you leave? I'm mad....I'm angry with you....I've never stopped loving you... Why can't you see this? In bed, late at night. I can still feel your kisses on my lips.

****2 Weeks earlier....Our first conversation***** 

Just take this...It won't work much. But it will keep you sane. 

But Serverus

right...right..._Snape_...What are the chains for?

As I was TRYING to say. The potion won't work well...you must use the chains to keep yourself restrained! 

I see... I take the moment to stare into your eyes. You didn't see me. I know you were grateful, but not happy. Of course at the moment, I could care less. I wish I could care less now. The next morning, I hear you've eaten a house elf. I suppose the chains didn't work..... 

****Next night, continuous moons**** 

Dumbledore told me that your suppose to supervise me tonight...I didn't ask him to make you do that... You say so innocently. Your voice was always so calm...it made me feel at ease, I realise that then. Not like mine, or the other people I used to know. 

I will be taking more chains and I am going to use a strength enhancement on myself. I don't want to be eaten as well. You look genuinely hurt by my comment. You have such a tender heart, even the death of a pitiful house elf must upset you. 

That night, I watched you. Chained to the wall, half man and beast. You have dark brown eyes, I start to wonder if those are yours or if it is just the werewolf that enhanced your features. The strength enhancement makes me so unkempt. I can't grade papers, my vision is impaired. And I can't do anything because it would put me into a fit of rage. All the adrenaline surging through my body wants you to look up and snarl a challenge to me. We could fight, scenes of me winning go through my mind. However, there are also other thoughts on my mind. Fiery pictures of passion. You and me, intertwined on the floor. Sweating and pounding onto each other. Kindling our basic instinct to love and be loved. For the moment this sickens me....for the moment 

****And the nights after that****

They all pass as uneasily as the one before. You seem so kind and generous to me in the daylight. But when night approaches and I see you chained to that wall..... I look at you and seem to analyse your every move. Mixed feelings of whether to kiss you rapidly...or tear you to pieces engulf me. Oh Lupin...you tortured me.... I thought all these ponderings I had were just in me...and made by my sick mind... But I was wrong, wasn't I? 

****Last night**** 

I do not need the chains Serverus... You inquire innocently. 

I asked. 

Tonight I won't become the wolf...I can feel it... All I'll need is that potion and I will be fine... Your upfront intentions seem normal enough. And I try to take them well but... 

I still have to watch you. I cannot have you hurting anyone... You've finally trapped me. The idea of not being able to see you, for just one night, terrifies me. You had me in your grasp... 

Why Serverus....I didn't know you cared.... 

*Later* 

How about a round of jin? You ask as a deck of cards appears in your hand. something to do... You say as you look around at my cold and desolate dungeon... Were you inquiring something? 

I don't know how to play.... I say. I never knew a thing about muggle games. I suspect you learned from Lily, in those days when you were called Moony. You try to teach me... It doesn't work well at all.... You reached over and tried to tell me what to do, but your hand brushed across my cheek. Before I could stop it, a relaxed sigh escaped my mouth. You looked at me with your caring and tender eyes. I met your gaze. You opened your mouth to speak but I didn't let you. I engulfed your mouth with mine... 

"Snape!" You gasped.

"No" I comment. "Serverus"

If you had any protests, I am sorry that I disregarded them. I was in heaven when I pulled you onto my desk. I opened your robe and came down on you senselessly. I kissed the nape of your neck and felt you crumble around me, as if I was strong. I pressed against your thin frame, and you made me feel powerful. You let short gasps escape you, they made me feel riteous. You kissed the tip of my nose, and made me feel special. Then you looked into my eyes, and made me feel loved..... 

***Weeks later***

Around and about we went. Kissing in the hallways, like two teenagers. Glancing fondly to one-another at the dinner table. And many nights of passion....my soul, and my body was all yours... Until that one night... 

***

You whispered. I was almost to my breaking point...I got closer to you...I could feel your heart pumping in your beautiful chest. 

Yes? Lupin...yes? I ask... We were about to reach and then- 

You screamed. I stopped...sat up and looked to you. Your face was deathly pale... yours screams, your begging, couldn't stop me. I had to go! I had to! you broke my heart that night... and I left you... 

***

I am still at the school, you have left... As I look out my window...I see the pale moon... The full pale moon... I am still thinking of you... and I can still feel you small kisses on my lips. 

***Author's notes***

REELLY sorri for spellink, or gramma miztakes...

If anyone likes this, I will continue to write. ^_~


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